How are the children doing? That is a question I ponder daily, as it drives my work each day. In my work with young people, I have the great fortune to experience their idealism, their energy, their passion, and their beautiful souls. They feed my spirit and make it possible for me to keep fighting the good fight. Everything I do, I do for them. And my, how fortunate we are to have a generation of young people, who despite all of the challenges they face, find the courage and conviction to stand in their power and take to the streets in pursuit of a better world for themselves, for their families and those that will come behind them. This energy, these ideals, this wisdom beyond their years, is deceiving. We see them finding ways to stay connected, we see them turning their dissatisfaction and grief into positive action. We see them finding ways to help others…And we think, “They’re okay. They’re resilient.” But beneath their optimism, their vision and their courage, many of our young people are struggling.
This pandemic has been incredibly difficult for all of us. But some of us are suffering more than others. Before this pandemic, 70% of African American families in Louisiana were struggling to afford the basic cost of living in the state. Nearly half of African American children in New Orleans were living in poverty. And while 58% of students graduating from NOLA Public Schools enrolled in college directly out of high school, 42% were leaving high school, mostly without the skills and preparation they need to succeed without a college degree. For the record, more than half the jobs in Louisiana require at least some college. The prospects for those without a credential of some kind beyond a high school diploma are grim, since most jobs in the region pay below $20 an hour, with most of them paying $15 an hour or less. And our young people are acutely aware of this reality. And they worry about their futures desperately.
I work with some incredible young people in my African-centered, girls rites of passage program, Project Butterfly New Orleans. I also lead the New Orleans Youth Alliance where I work with another cadre of incredible, young changemakers. I also work with a group of Fellows in partnership with the Urban League from across the state. No matter where they live, or their age, or where they are in life, they share the same kinds of stressors. They are worried about their health and the health of their loved ones. They’re grieving the loss of loved ones. They are witnessing the impact of the stress on the adults in their lives play out in domestic violence. They take on the stress of their parents who are frontline workers. They miss their friends and the escape, at times, that school offers. They are worried about school and how they’ll keep up in this virtual space. Some are eager to go back to school and some are frustrated that they missed out on milestone moments like graduations and the prom. Those who graduated high school are wondering, “What’s next?” They worry about transitioning to college in the middle of this mess. Some worry about affording college still, with families facing unprecedented economic challenges. For those graduating college, they are worried about job prospects as they watch this pandemic decimate the economy. Several of them have lost jobs in the hospitality industry with no idea when these jobs that were available to them will return. They are concerned about the threat of eviction and the crisis of unaffordable housing in New Orleans. And all of them are heartbroken and angry by what feels like an unrelenting attack on Black people by law enforcement and racists across the country, as they replay the public lynchings of Black people over and over again. As they watch their brethren being murdered with impunity, they stare down violence in their communities as well. Even the young ones aren’t spared. So it should come as no surprise that 60% of children in New Orleans suffer from PTSD.
Mental health supports are a vital resource needed in our community. We need schools, youth programs and community institutions that are trauma-informed. And we need safe spaces where young people can process the inequities they face each day and build their capacity to act upon unjust systems to improve their lives and those of their loved ones. We need to embrace and support the spiritual and cultural practices that have sustained us. And most of all, we need justice, healing justice. We need to address the root causes of the anxiety, depression and toxic stress they are experiencing. And that can’t be done until we acknowledge systemic racism as the catalyst of all the traumas they face. Be it inadequate education systems and inequities in opportunities, low wage jobs and state sanctioned violence against Black people, systemic racism is at the heart of it. So, if you want to improve the mental health of our young people and give them a fair shot at a healthy and prosperous life, support them in accessing the care and support they need, and dismantle the systems that continue to be a barrier to their well-being. Our young people deserve so much better and it’s our job to create the world that they deserve.
As we lean in to focus on the well-being of children and youth, I ask that you also consider the well-being of those who are charged with their care. My work at NOYA, even before the pandemic, has made it painfully clear that our “helpers need help.” Their experiences with young people’s trauma is impacting them and causing them to deal with vicarious trauma (the emotional impact of helping others process traumatic experiences). Now they are being asked to show up to serve others while also processing the collective trauma of this pandemic and the racial injustice that is impacting them as well.
Protect your peace. Be compassionate. Give yourself permission to fall short. Tend to your garden. Prioritizing our mental wellness and those of the people we love, serve, support and work alongside, is essential. Here’s what this pandemic has taught me about maintaining my mental well-being:
Protect your peace. Do whatever it takes to maintain peace of mind. For me, that’s meant unplugging from social media and the news for extended periods of time to avoid information overload. That’s also meant reevaluating relationships and activities that are misaligned with my personal values and goals. This pandemic has taught me that I have a choice in what I prioritize and I must no longer put other people’s needs ahead of mine, especially at the expense of my own needs, values and goals. For people who help others, this is a critically important lesson.
Be compassionate. Be gentle with yourself and others. This is a difficult time for many of us. Even Michelle Obama has shared her own struggles with depression during this time. Right now our loved ones and our colleagues may be struggling. Extending a bit of grace and understanding during this time can go a long way to supporting others in their work to maintain their mental health. At the same time, we ought to show ourselves that same compassion. For me that’s meant allowing myself to take rest even when the workload is high and the needs are urgent. I can’t help others when I’m not well. Affirming that it’s okay to not be okay, is important in this moment, Moreover, normalizing seeking help is an essential part of this process. Model it and encourage it.
Give yourself permission to fall short. Anyone who knows me knows that I get things done. I pride myself in being highly productive and in being impactful. But guess what? We have to relax our expectations right now. These are unusual times. We cannot expect to be as productive and as precise as we are outside of this pandemic. Give yourself a break. Manage your expectations. Do a little less. Abandon your fixation with productivity and do a few important things well, instead of trying to do it all.
Tend to your garden. Do what is required to restore your energy and to find joy during these challenging times. For me, that’s spending time outdoors, reconnecting with loved ones, engaging in meditation practice and being creative. Whatever it is that brings you joy and restores you, do it. Your wellness and happiness has got to be a priority. Remember, you’re no good to anyone if you’re not well.
